BEDROOM SECRET OPS

And Perky Perks

This and more in this edition of HarperTheFox News!

BUTT FIRST!

HOMOSEXUAL HANDICAPS

I have a secret confession. I am one of those giddy trolls who has been tickled by the “we’re allowed to call people gay retards again!” meme.

Don’t worry, it doesn’t come from hate– many of my closest friends are retards.

So when this original song concept popped into my mind about reading hate comments, I grinned SO big. Nobody is going to throw me off social media for talking about the words OTHER people use to describe me! I’m just quoting and making art about hate that I personally receive!

Nice workaround, huh?

Another bonus is that this song is enough of an earworm that a couple times now I’ve heard Max (husband) going about his work and quietly singing to himself, “Well they call me a gay retard…”

TWO IS ONE TOO MANY

I have written a new verse for my Sound of Silence parody, Pound in Silence.

The first verse I released has gotten a lot of love. I think basically every parent can relate. Somehow those beautiful little bastards just SENSE IT when their parents are trying to get it on, and something in their little brain says “I cannot let this occur.”

I got some truly odd commentary on my first one. The lyrics begin:

Since having kids is pretty tough
To go to pound town good and rough
No overnights getting double-teamed
No waking neighbors with the screams

And I’ve gotten multiple comments now of people specifically being put off by the “double teamed” thing. Like, “I was going to share it until she the line about double-teaming.”

Maybe I’m the screwed up one but given all the insane stuff I’ve written that people are totally willing to share, that line never jumped out at me as odd. Maybe it’s because I’m a mom so multi-partner stuff is extra offensive?

For the record, my days of getting railed at all ends are over... for now. Maybe they’ll start up again in an old folk’s home.

VERY PERKY PAID SUBSCRIBER PERKS

It’s been a while since I got really specific about what the deal is with being a paid subscriber here. I mention it, but rarely with real details.

Every single email I send ends with a section that is ONLY for paid subscribers, and typically includes extra information, exclusive bonus content, and a special signoff.

The exclusive content is usually something like songs in progress, promising songs that for one reason or another I’ve decided not to release, early releases– I’ve even shared a couple of secret Harper recipes, just for fun.

When you pay to subscribe, you instantly get access to all future subscriber-only content *and all previous subscriber-only content.*

Additionally, I’ve started something new– live broadcasts ONLY for paid subscribers.

The next one is this Friday night. If you can’t join live, paid subscribers can watch the replay. But you need to upgrade before then to get the invite!

Anyway, that’s all for now. I’m going to share the join link for Friday’s live session below the fold, and I’ll send it out to paid subscribers one more time on Friday morning.

Thank you for being here, and paid subscribers, I’ll talk to you more below!

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