BOXED CHILDREN

and a handy-dandy roundup

This and more in this week’s edition of HarperTheFox news.

BUTT FIRST!

PARENTING HACKS FROM A KNOW-NOTHING LOW LIFE

Things in my household go better the more I treat my children like animals.

For instance: you know how when you have a cat, you can get them the world’s best scratching post, but all they care about is the box?

Same with my kids. When I’m not peddling parody filth online, I am a discount-shopping mom of 3 driving a nondescript SUV and looking vaguely like a Mennonite. My 4 and 2 year old REJOICE every week when we get a new crop of carry-out boxes from Costco. They fight over them. They make them into pretend bedrooms and wear them as hats and set up potluck parties on top of them. Meanwhile, the beautiful wooden Montessori toys I bought as an ambitious new mom sit languishing in the garage.

I feel kind of weird about it. The neighbor girl who babysits might think I neglect my kids. But whatever, I’m just leaning into it. These days, trash = toys. And they love it.

AND NOW!

SONGS ROUNDUP

Social media sites are notorious for only selectively showing you posts by the people you follow, so as a little service for you, I like to gather up all the week’s posts for you in one easy place. Here you go!

“In the Summertime” parody

“Take Me Home, Country Roads” parody

“Danny’s Song” parody

“On The Road Again” parody

“You Are My Sunshine” parody

“Sound of Silence” parody

“Loch Lomond” parody

Anyway, that’s all for now. I will write again next week with songs, stories, and updates.

But it’s not over for paid subscribers! Below the fold, you guys are going to get a brand new song that I think might do REALLY well when I share it out publicly. This is a parody of a 2010s megahit, updated for where we’re all at in our new phases of life.

See you down below!

---