CHEATING ARMY WIVES CHEERED

(and condemned)

This and more on this week’s edition of HarperTheFox News!

BUTT FIRST!

BARNYARD BJ’S BRING BAN HAMMER

I’m working on a “Row Row Row Your Boat” parody song. With this one, I feel the muse has spoken to me. I want to move forward but I am concerned I will be banned from most social media platforms if I release it.

It centers around performing oral sex on goats. What do you think? Should I risk it?

I will share some of the lyrics with you and you can tell me what you think.

BUTT FIRST!

CHEATING OO-RAHS DIVIDE THE NATION!

I think a major Instagram account must have reposted my “cheating army wives” song. It’s been getting tons of story shares and a huge influx of comments, even though its old.

Set to the tune of “America The Beautiful,” the lyrics go as follows:

While he’s deployed she’ll be enjoyed
By everyone on base
The IEDs they took his knees
She’s got jizz on her face

The cheating wife of army life
She’s full of STDs
When he gets back she’ll insist that
It is his baby

Here is what I’ve noticed. Veterans love this song. They have twisted dark senses of humor and all know one of these treacherous sluts. To them I say, thank you for your service!

Then there are the normies. An INCREDIBLE number comment to say how offensive and disrespectful my song is to veterans. I wonder if they’ve ever spoken to one, let alone thanked one!

Watch here:

If you are a veteran and want to watch my movie, COPS VS WHORES Vol. 1, send me a message and I will give you a code for a free copy. No stolen valor! The rest of you can make up the cost of delivering this fine entertainment to our troops by buying your own copy.

BACK TO BLOWING GOATS

Here are my inspired lyrics. These are the things the muse whispers in my ears as I drift in-between the sleeping world and the waking one.

Blow, blow, blow a goat
You total piece of trash
Think about your choices
And then stick them up your ass

You can respond to this email or message me in the Substack app to let me know your thoughts.

Maybe I will record it and release it just for paid subscribers? It could be our little throat goat secret.

Want to be in on all goat-related secrets?! Become a paid subscriber!

Speaking of paid subscribers, you are about to get Rick Rolled in the best way possible. For the rest of you, thanks so much for reading. You get basically everything for free, I just give a tiny little bonus to those who pay the bills as a special thank you.

See you next time!