For the Depp-chimp chemistry to work on Harper-as-Vanessa, the dynamic should be Johnny trying out his best seduction techniques while the chimp keeps telling him he’s going about it all wrong. The tension is there, but it’s odd-couple cute, not angry-violent. H-as-V finds it charming. Chimp is invested, because he needs Johnny to succeed, but he wants Vanessa to be truly pleasured. Johnny’s just trying to get laid and to the post-coital cigarette, hash pipe, or coke line waiting on the nightstand. At some point, they all lose their balance, and H-as-V has to contend with the literal monkey on her back, while Johnny has an epiphany about the figurative monkey on his.

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