Hello you Dirty Folkers. If you are reading this, congrats, you have made it through another week. Me too! Still alive and kicking it (my wife). Not really. I am alive. I am just not kicking my wife. She went and got herself knocked up again and kicking a pregnant woman is looked down on by the members of my pinochle society. Pinochle is my first love so I will abide by their outdated traditions.
This week Harper and I discuss what makes a baby hateful and whether or not aliens are tying to make hateful babies in our butts. I think you will find at least one of the episodes insightful and educational as well as funny. I will let you decide which one. While you decide, become a paid member and get access to the bonus episode at the bottom of this email and all the bonus episodes past and future.
Alien Buttfuckery comes out everywhere podcasts are available this Tuesday. Here is a subscriber preview for you.
Actually, I will do you one better. I am working on video versions of the show. The challenge is right now we record in our car parked at a Home Depot. I have no private space where me shouting “cuddle cunt!” into the ether wouldn’t be a problem (except the Home Depot parking lot).
This is because I moved out of my lovely private home with my lovely private office right down the street from my lovely private garage studio in a lovely part of America and I now share a house with my son and my in-laws who I somehow got talked into living with/ caring for in a bleak and soulless part of America.
Video has been a bit of a trick. Help me get the fuck out of here!
However, I am a resourceful degenerate. Here is the first few minutes of Alien Buttfuckery expertly animated by yours truly:
Our Thursday release will be I Hate That Baby. It isn’t someone telling the person they love that they dislike something. It is me (or you) hating a particular infant. Here is a preview:
In the bonus episode for paid members Harper and I get very personal and nasty over Birthday Cake. Harper is wrong and she should apologize. Here is a preview of Is Birthday Cake Good. The full bonus episode is just on the other side of that paywall. Just $10 per month gets you this bonus episode plus a new one every Monday plus all the old ones. We would love to have you as a paid subscriber. The idea of doing ad reads for ball trimmers and gold bullion makes me ill.