Gay Conversions

and sexy elves

Has the parody song code finally been cracked?!?

The answers could save your life!

Butt first,

WE’RE NUMBER 16! WE’RE NUMBER 16!

Did you know that this very newsletter is #16 in the list of rising humor newsletters in all of Substack?!

THANK YOU!

If you have been on the fence about being a paid contributor now would be a fantastic time to join! Every paid sub helps us rocket up the list which does wonders to help this grow. I want to be writing parody songs and making you laugh until the day I die and the paid subscribers make that possible!

BREAKING NEWS!

I have cracked the parody song code!

If you give a man a fish, he will eat for a day.

If you give a man a video he can share that will call his buddy gay,

he will share that video.

It never fails. Watch and see!

You know who you want to send it to right? RIGHT? Go ahead. Nothing wrong, could feel so right.

Speaking of urges.

A lot of you are flirting with my movie Cops Vs Whores Vol 1. I see you. Shyly clicking that link and then dashing away— cheeks all flushed.

I know it is hard to risk it on an indie movie (even the best one ever) and I really want you to see it.

I want you all to see it.

Since you are early and in on the ground floor I will make it easy for you.

So here it is:

It costs me $2 to deliver the movie to you. For one day only name your price and I will send you a personal discount code for that price. Anything $2 or above will be accepted. No judgement. If you are interested at all, I want you to take me up on this deal.

Deal ends Jun 11, 2025 at 11:59pm eastern time. Please give me some time to get back to you, I’m only one woman here.

Alright! Let’s wrap things up with a little Christmas spirit!

Things are very Christmassy over here because I am going to be out of commission bringing new life into this world in December. This means I am making all my holiday parody songs right now! I’m ho ho ho-ing it up over here and working like a chain smoking elf.

So for you, dear paid subscriber, here is a wildly early preview of what’s to come this holiday season. And for you, my appreciated free reader, I will see you next time.