MAKING HIS EYES ROLL

and life-saving humor

This and more in this week’s edition of HarperTheFox news.

BUTT FIRST!

RHYME SCHEME HERO

I was tidying up in the kitchen when my husband, Max, huffed into the house from outside.

“I’m missing a socket. Do you know where it is?”

Max’s tool organization is a meticulous clusterfuck of ‘I’ll put it down wherever I want, and don’t move it, or I won’t remember where I put it.’ So any cleanup on my part inevitably yields disaster. So, I’ve stopped making any attempt to tidy his tools.

“I had a certain socket for my socket wrench just a couple days ago. Have you seen it?”

I kept wiping down the bowl I was cleaning, and replied with a grin—

“So you say you need a socket. Did you put it in your pocket?” His eyes roll. “Did you strap it to a rocket?”

This man had just been eyeballs deep in a complicated electrical system and definitely did NOT need me being a goober. He has been working long, tiring days for weeks now preparing our family’s camper for all of us to move in and spend at least a year living full time on the road. This work is intricate and important. But he has a rhyme-loving nutball for a wife, so that’s exactly what he got. He heaved a sigh, and moved on to search in other spots.

But imagine my delight when, a few minutes later, I heard a soft “…oh no.”

And Max emerged, sheepish and bracing, holding the socket over the breast of his bibbed overalls.

It. Was. In. His. POCKET.

…I will be riding this high for a year.

AND NOW!

SONGS ROUNDUP

Social media sites are notorious for only selectively showing you posts by the people you follow, so for you dear subscriber, I like to gather up all the week’s posts for you in one easy place. Here you go!

“I’ve Been Workin’ on the Railroad” parody: a song to send to a friend about how their mother is a whore.

“Man of Constant Sorrow” parody: a song about the drunk who’s definitely gonna quit… tomorrow.

“Out of my Head” parody: tales from your local glory hole.

“Folsom Prison Blues” parody: about running train on a brokenhearted man’s girlfriend.

“Thank God I’m a Country Boy” parody: for the woman who’s just ‘sassy’ and all her exes are assholes.

Anyway, that’s all for now. I will write again next week with songs, stories, and updates.

But it’s not over for paid subscribers! Below the fold, you guys are going to get something really special. I’ve been working both on a new song, AND a new style of sharing my songs. You get to see the first glimpses down below in a nice long teaser! This bastardization of an 80s hit will be in your head all week.

See you down below!

---