ONLINE HOTNESS, OFFLINE MODEST

and a camper full of contradictions

This and more in this week’s edition of HarperTheFox news.

BUTT FIRST!

TUNIC WEIRDNESS

I’m about to stuff the entire family into a camper and hit the road for a year-long, gloriously slow migration to Austin, Texas.

Why Austin? Because I’m pretty sure it has the highest per-capita population of certified weirdos on the continent, and my family is a walking contradiction factory.

In real life I’m aggressively private. On the internet I’m low-key famous for my filthy parody songs. I still wash our clothes by hand like a 19th-century peasant, yet I’ll drop $800 on the newest tech gadget before my coffee gets cold. I draft and sew every stitch of the kids’ clothes from scratch… while ordering marine designed solar power components on two-day shipping.

Oh, and it’s stupidly easy to find my tits online, but if you saw me at the grocery store you’d swear I escaped from a Mennonite village—knee-length natural-fiber dresses, braids, head covering, the whole modesty starter pack. My hair is literally butt-length and I’ve started protecting it like it’s a national treasure.

We love Idaho, but my “mostly closeted weirdness” and parody song notoriety has cost us friends and mom groups. The kids have already had to say goodbye to playmates they really liked.

Austin, though? Musicians, comedians, and beautiful freaks from every background imaginable. Feels like the kind of place where nobody blinks if your mom looks like Laura Ingalls Wilder but her search history is pure chaos.

Who knows if it’ll work. But life’s too short to be afraid of being a total fucking nutjob.

And now!

SONGS ROUNDUP

Since algorithms are dicks and don’t always show you the posts of the people you follow, here is this week of releases.

“Time of your life” parody

“Wellerman” parody

“Big rock Candy mountain” parody

“America the beautiful” parody

“All Star” parody

“Use somebody” parody

“I’ve Just Seen a Face” parody

That’s all for now if you’re a free subscriber.

BUT, if you are a paid subscriber, you get a really special treat this week. Normally I have something extra to share with you, but this week, you get TWO.

I have two sets of lyrics for the same song and I am seeking your help to choose which version to pursue! If you were alive in the 90s you FOR SURE know the original and I think you’ll get a big kick out of my ideas.

See you down below!

---