PHANCY PHONICS

and a change in plans

This and more in this week’s edition of HarperTheFox news.

BUTT FIRST!

Friday is my 5 year wedding anniversary. At some point during the day, I’m going to surprise my husband and children by waltzing out of the master bedroom wearing my full wedding gown and veil.

Wear it once and never again? Fuck that noise. What’s the point? MAYBE I could sell it, MAYBE someday my daughter will want it… but for now, why not play trains and teach my kids phonics while looking fancy as hell?

Because when we move into our road rig in a couple months to tour the country promoting our comedy projects, there certainly won’t be room for a gown.

AND NOW!

GOD LOVE YA, SCRAGGLE-STEVE

Speaking of hitting the road! One of our working ideas for our first campsite came from Steve (name changed), the scraggly old man who worked on our rented house recently with an obviously stoned-out-of-his-gourd younger man. When you think of Steve, imagine if a lovable but mangy street dog was walking on its hind legs and holding a hammer.

He told us, as the scent of cigarettes and booze wafted gently from him, that he owned a couple acres that we could camp on when the time came. And there were some obvious perks— little to no rent, close to our connections here in town, no length of stay obligations, and a way to launch ourselves into road life with minimal risk.

Well, we got a call from Scraggle-Steve a couple days ago. Great news, the spot is free!

…the spot on land he does NOT, in fact, own.

Land that other people own, expect several hundred dollars per month to live on, and also expect the occupant to work. Oh, and stay there long term.

Not exactly the deal we’d talked about.

So, scratch that. There’s a new plan in the works.

SONG OF THE WEEK

I’ve got a new track for you! This parody of “Wagon Wheel” is called “Copping Feels” and it drips with folksy warmth and degenerate sadness.

That’s all for now, if you are a free subscriber. I will write again next week with songs, stories, and updates on this big huge adventure as we prepare to hit the road.

Paid subscribers below the fold will get to see me tackle a whole new kind of music— watch and listen as I take on MAROON 5 in a brand new parody aimed at a classic male struggle.

See you down below!

---