PROSTITUTES COMMANDEER PROSTITUNE

And puppets slang pu**y

This and more on this edition of Harper The Fox News!

BUTT FIRST!

HEDGEHOG HAS TINY PRICK PROBLEM

I once had a pet pygmy hedgehog. He traveled with me and Max (husband) when we lived out of our van. At first it was pretty cute and innocent. We built him a little enclosure just behind us in between the driver and passenger seat of our car. He would run on his wheel while we drove down the endless stretches of American highway. We would joke that he powered the van.

Then the days grew longer and we grew poorer and tensions rose and loneliness set in.

As it did, the cute little hedgehog developed a voice. He would channel that voice through Max and me. It was a high pitched lispy voice and it was just sort of sarcastically mean at first. Then it was really mean. Then it was declaring itself as a god and taking credit for all our troubles and promising more curses to come.

Our cute little hedgehog quickly became a foul mouthed, homophobic, racist little prick of a demigod who tormented us nearly constantly.

We gave it back to him as good as we got it but he was really clever and really mean. He talked a lot.

After a few years he died and as he did he promised to haunt us and make our lives miserable. He called us both fags one last time before he shuffled off his mortal form.

Anyway, the female lead’s voice from my movie “Cops Vs Whores Vol 1” is based on my dear little hedgehog’s voice. She is also quite powerful and scary. If you are curious what a god in hedgehog form sounds like you can get a pretty good idea by checking out my movie today!

BUTT FIRST!

WHORES HAGGLE WITH HARPER’S HELP!

My parody of Willie Nelson’s “On The Road Again” called “Taking Loads Again” is my second most popular parody of all time. It has a staggering 1.3 million views on TikTok alone!

One of the features of TikTok is that other people can use your audio for their videos if you let them. Well this one is getting well used.

Primarily it is being used by really busted, beat looking hookers to advertise their services.

Cool?

Someone also made their puppet sing along to it, which I really enjoyed.

So if you are in the market for some worn out women of the night at what I can only assume are very reasonable rates hunt around for my audio and you will find what you are looking for! The original is here.

@harperthefoxofficialan American classic 🇺🇸 Parody of Willie Nelson’s “On the Road Again”, written with so much love. He’s a legend. And a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. @Willie Nelson Official

Tiktok failed to load.

Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser

In future song parody news,

I am currently working on a “Wellerman” parody about the legend of “Goatsee”. I am not sure if I am spelling that right and I refuse to google it and find out. I have put my time in on that one and don’t really want to revisit it.

I am going to say goodbye to the free subscribers now but you wonderful paid subscribers can have a sneak preview of what I have so far.

On that note, several of you reached out to tell me you weren’t able to become a paid subscriber via the substack mobile app. That was my bad, I accidentally had it turned off. It is all fixed now so if you want to join the fast growing ranks of the fantastic paid subscribers you can do it right now.

Goodbye for now free subscribers. Paid subscribers, here comes a preview of “The Legend Of Goatsee”