Running Train on Johnny Cash

And MURDER

This and more on this edition of Harper The Fox News!

BUTT FIRST

BUMS AWAY!

The Big Rock Candy Mountain was my first ever parody song. I wrote it while driving across America with Max (husband). We were living out of our van at the time and starting to get at each other’s throats. As we aimlessly wandered across the American landscape we began making up silly words to folk songs to pass the time and do something other than argue with each other. Thus, an old song about lazy bums became a modern classic about hard dicks.

Give it a listen:

It isn’t my most popular song but it is finally starting to get some love with about 50,000 views across platforms. It holds a special place in my heart and I think about it a lot as I prepare to once again go on the road full time next spring. I expect I will be doing a lot of writing next year!

Want to find out if we kill each other as we adventure across America?

Speaking of murder:

JEALOUS LOVER MURDERS POLYAMOUROUS COMPETITION

For a minute there, years ago, Max and I tried an open relationship. It’s a lot like drugs in my opinion. The highs feel good but as a way of life it just fucks you up too badly. I’m too jealous, he’s too jealous, it’s too much work. You just get worn down and sex just isn’t the most important part of a relationship.

We both sort of knew it really wasn’t for us when I got jealous of a sex doll.

A company sent us one for free to review so we had a “3 sum” with the thing. It was sort of fun. It was a lot uncanny. I still got a little jealous.

That bitch is decapitated in a landfill. Maybe the open relationship would have lasted longer and worked out if that was a reasonable option with our other lovers? Only God knows.

Speaking of group sex:

CASHING IN ON RUNNING TRAIN

I recently defiled “Folsom Prison Blues” and turned it into a song about a man who finds himself sobbing after he volunteers to let his friends run a train on his girlfriend. Apparently a lot of you can relate because

this one is up over 200 thousand views across platforms!

I smell the train a comin (if you know what I mean).

Alright, it is about time to wrap up this edition of HarperTheFox News and say goodbye to the free subscribers.

BUTT FIRST!

ROBOTS THREATEN OLD WHORE

Are robots going to replace me? I recently used an AI song generator to turn some of my lyrics into a song and I gotta say I was impressed. I used the lyrics from my Cash parody. I think it is fucking hilarious. I will let the paid subscribers take a listen. To the rest of you, farewell for now. Thanks for reading!